Mommyblog

When will I ever learn?: A guide to rookie mistakes by one mom.

As a parent, you can sometimes get excited and hyped up about something, only to have your child act in the opposite manner.

My first example of this was the day I bought Meg one of those backyard houses. They are basically a little playhouse that sits in the yard.

I thought she’d go ape shit over it and at the time, she was 2.5 and instead goes ape-shit over the bikini-hand-me-down we received that day and wanted to put it on instantly even though it was two sizes too big, and when I wouldn’t let her, refused to go in the yard to see the house.

When I let her put it on, so I could get her outside, she looks at the house and then continues to whine over why I wouldn’t let her put it on in the first place.

 Also ape-shit worthy : empty paper towel holders, toilet paper, dum dum lollipops,  bubbles,  tissue paper and glue, construction paper pad, pencils with hearts on them, allowing her to sharpen her own pencil and cleaning up a spill with paper towels.

The above list, I learned after some time, however, I still continue from time to time, to make “rookie mistakes”.

 
See, we think as parents that buying a big ticket item or doing something over the top with them is going to be GRAND but in reality, there’s nothing better in life than letting them run around the house with a roll of toilet paper.

 
When will I learn?

Case in point, we took her to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. Tickets set us back a good 500 dollars. Big excitement came when the usher gave us a cushion she could sit on and when she got Skittles at intermission.

Second case, I buy her a Nintendo DS, against my better judgement, for her pre-school graduation and she cast it aside because I had the “wrong game” and instead played with a 1.00 inflatable beach ball for a good few hours that says “Class of 2008” on it.

 
Rookie mistakes, I tell you.

These kids...

On Wednesday, we had to bring the Megster over for Kindergarten Screening, where they make sure she's upto snuff.

They took her into a room, I had to wait outside and they asked her a bunch of questions.
We then went down to another room where she had a "speech evaluation".
Of course, this all makes me very nervous, and I coached her for a good week on making sure she knew her basics(name, phone number, address, and that beer and wine should not be mentioned at any cost during the interview). Hell, that morning I even gave her face an extra squeaky cleaning, then did another spit cleaning before we entered the building. And, as an added bonus I MADE SURE SHE HAD UNDERWEAR ON.

Since clothes are such an issue in my home, we are sometimes sans the undergarments.

After we got out of the building, I was curious to know what they asked her, and because she's so smart and can sense that, I knew I had to ask this very delicately.

After about ten minutes of "did they ask this question" and her response of "no" I finally just said "Fine, what DID they ask you"

She replied "I am too tired to tell you right now"

Since I am trying to "let go more" I said very merrily "Ok, maybe you will tell me later after a nice rest"

To which she replied "Later....I won't remember".

Now is when I thank my lucky stars that my second child, is a laid back easy going mamma loving boy.
Who must have sensed my need for him to be as wonderful as he usually is and he turned on me.
That little sweet Sesame Street loving boy -- completely -- and utterly -- TURNED ON ME.

How, you ask?

He was getting ready for bed last night, when I could not locate his binky. I didn't panic. In fact, I had a whole stash of "old binkes" in my dresser drawer. I smugly went to get one, all the while patting myself on the back for being so intelligent, prepared and an all around good mother.

I bring over this new binky and exclaim "here you go sweetie".
Jake took it, examined it, crossed his eyebrows and threw it clear across the room.

Now, I started to sweat a bit.

I went and retrieved another one, different color, hoping this would work.

He threw that one at me more as if to say "let's face it bitch, I know these are not the ones I prefer so your little jig is up".

I put him in the crib and walked away.

An hour later, the screaming stopped, but too be sure, I crept into his room, he was sound asleep. I put the two thrown binkies next to his head, thinking if he needed it middle of the night, he'd forget all about this little earlier incident and just happily take it.

Around midnight, I was able to test that theory.
I actually saw him wake up, reach for it, get pissed off, stand up and throw them across the room, not even fully awake.

Now, he went back to sleep, thank god, but at 6am, I was not as lucky.
He was up, pissed off and having NO PART OF THESE BINKIES.

I think....the two of them are in co-hoots again. I just can't PROVE it.

Freaking out today

After reading an article last night in health.com about lawn care and being as "green" as one can, it has come to my attention that because I have started playing with the kids on the lawn, I need to be careful given that my whack-ado husband is lawn obsessed and uses all kinds of chemicals.

I just read that kids that are exposed to lawn chemicals like weed killer and fertilizer have a 6.5 percent higher chance of developing leukemia.


So, I cut out said article, stuck to husband's tea pot and told him to read it and change his ways. Now I just called him and read him an article on green lawns as well as sent a link with green products in it. I AM TOTALLY FREAKING OUT. They've been all over my lawn for weeks!