Mommyblog

Top Ten Ways You Know Jen is Losing It

1--got home and drank wine right from bottle
2--proceeded to shove dark chocolate in mouth immediately after dinner
3--let kid number two eat blueberries and pretzels for dinner
4--let kids play with crayons in living room
5--let kids watch tv until they passed out
6--ate big ol box of oreos with milk as soon as they went to bed
7--cried about being bad mom
8--cried for poor kids
9-cried for my thighs and the oreos
10--then just cried some more for no apparent reason until I passed out

Last Night In My House….

 

On rare occasions, the husband will get caught up at work (aka he needs loads of beer and can’t deal) and I need to leave early and get the kids.

In someways, although stressful, it’s nice because I get a head start on the evening, I eat dinner before nine and I catch up with them and some housework.

Unless of course, say Jake grabs the placemat my RED wine is sitting on and flips it up in the air and it goes EVERYWHERE while simultaneously shattering the glass, then you might as well have come home from work at 8pm, because the clean up and wash that one needs to do after, not to mention, pulling shards of glass out of ones fingers, is really a time suck!

How was YOUR weekend?

Every Monday morning starts out the same way.
I have to get the kids up (yes, as in wake them up, they now LOVE to sleep, and they will continue to sleep until nine am, or ten am, even though last night they were both in bed by 8pm), deal with them being cranky, find matching shoes, socks and outfits, pack their bag of gear they need for the week and head out of the house so I can catch the train, as usual.

When I get to work, and see all my co-workers, everyone inevitably asks "How was your weekend?" To which I usually shake my head and say fine "How was YOUR weekend?" because really, they are single and I know they had a far better weekend than I did.

Want to bet?

Here's what we did:

Friday night the husband and I played "What's that smell?"
We got home and *something* in Jake's room stank to high heaven.
"It must be a dirty diaper" said the husband.... (I then had a vision of the kids taking one of the diapers I flung out of the room after changing and stashing it somewhere for later)
"No, it has to be sour milk, an old bottle" I said (which I then decided must also have mold and a small creature crawling out of it and must be thrown away at once (as soon as the husband wasn't looking))

We then proceeded to dissect his room to find the offensive odor.

Behind crib -- Seventeen binkies-- Nothing offensive
Behind couch -- Dust, a pair of socks and a few balls -- Nothing offensive
Behind changing table -- a Sponge (kitchen, not sex) a shoe, a horse, and a car
Sponge is assessed.
Not the offender.

Now came the closet, the tv, and this went on and on and on......

Until

Finally

The husband lifted the cover off the hamper and THERE WAS THE SMELL.

I had taken the bathroom baby washclothes and threw them all in his pail the night before in anticipation of doing nine loads of laundry, and maybe they should have dried first because -- DAMN.

And this concludes this week's "Wha -aht's that smell!?"

(check back tomorrow for a recap of Saturday)

Big Thinking

Happy Holidays to anyone out there, who may still read my not-ever-updated blog.
I promise 2008 will be better!

My thoughts today are around how much Meg is really coming into her own person, with thoughts and worries, and how funny it is, though she doesn't know it.

Since Christmas just passed, and we are Catholic, and my inlaws are very religious, and I am always on a quest to get on their good side, and impress them, I taught her some stuff about Mary and Jesus, etc.
Even took her to church on Christmas day.

When I told her we were going, she got a frightened look on her face. So I asked her, "do you want to come with mommy or stay home with daddy?" (read: pagan) and she said, " I want to come but I am scared"
I asked "why are you scared of church?"
She responded "...because baby Jesus is there"
So, I said "but baby Jesus is a good person, why are you scared?"
And she said "because he's dead!"

I think I heard my husband spit out his coffee from the other room, and then we both tried NOT to laugh because when we do chuckle at her observations and thoughts, it pisses her off to no end and then we feel the wrath of Meg for at least an hour, but honestly, how funny is it that she thinks Church harbors a dead baby inside?

Then, just a few days later, she seemed deep in thought, and came over to me with a huge pout on her face.
"What's the matter, baby" I asked her.
"I am sad" she responded
I asked why and she said
"Because when I am a mommy, do I have to go live in a new house?"
To which my husband responded, very quickly "YES!"

But I told her not to worry, she could stay with mommy forever!

Happy New Year everyone!