Restless

I've reached the point in my pregnancy where I am utterly bored with it.

I realized that at yet another family party this weekend where I got bombarded with the usual questions:

"do you know what you are having?"

"when are you due?"

"how do you feel?"

"do you feel boy or girl?"

"how do you think Meg will react?"

"what names do  you have picked?"

The answer to those questions are so rehearsed, I can barely utter them anymore.

"No, I don't know what I am having" (Then because I feel this may insult the other moms I know and am related to since about 80percent of moms find out the sex, I feel I must defend myself) ..."since we are having the scheduled C-section and all, I didn't want to know everything!". In reality I just kind of feel that you have the right to know it's healthy and anything else is selfish. Just my thoughts...

"I am due July 24th, I am having surgery on July 17th, unless my water breaks before then" I always always add that in case God is listening and spares me going through July. I kind of have hopes for a July 4th baby.

Next up is the "how do you feel?". That one especially annoys me coming from other moms.....as they should know. How I feel is fat, bloated, gassy, constipated, swollen, tired, full of hate for skinny people and my husband, and the non stop mother fucking heartburn is just a joy. Not to mention my skin is so itchy I want to pull it off and set it on fire and then stomp it out, then have all these extra skin growths burned off, while simutaneously pushing my belly button back in to where it belongs because god damm it hurts. Oh, and the leaking pee and having my underwear wet non stop is getting old.

But I ususally just smile and say "you know, pregnant".

Do I feel boy or girl? I feel alien. You can now SEE my stomach moving and it's been real pleasant when the kid kicks me on the inside of my vagina, or kicks my bladder. I also happen to love the stares I get lately. Men stare like they may have to deliver me at any given moment, older women are thinking "my god thank goodness I am past that" and some younger women are in awe while others think what I have is contagious.

How will Meg react? She'll hate it and I think she'll probably try to kill this child if ever left unattended with it. I mean, c'mon, right now she is the center of our universe. We are there to change her poops, have tea parties with her, help her rock her babies to sleep, read her the same books for the 800th time, make her all her favorite foods on demand and listen to her sing songs and talk all the live long day. How would you feel if this were no longer the case?

And then, there is the names. The all personal name question. Names mean different things to different people and conjure up all kinds of different connotations. Right now we like Sean Patrick for a boy, and that pisses my mother in law off because she thought she had patented rights to the name Sean (my husband's youngest brother). But it's truley the only name we both like for a boy. Girls names, don't even get me started. He thinks it's going to be Katherine because I liked Kate, but now I am in love with Ava, and the dumb ass thinks people will pronounce it "ahhhvahhh" I said "maybe if they are RETARDED they will ". Don't people know Ava is Ava?

Sheesh.

Don't even get me started.

Comments

[Tanya]

I'm in the "you might be contagious" camp. ;)

[jk]

i am about two months behind you...and this is my first. starting to go through some of this stuff. I have had some fun-wet-surprise sneezes, feeling fat, also waiting to find out the sex, dont plan on sharing name ideas with people though. It's my business. ;) best thoughts your way!

[mrst3]

You could be me! People seem to think pregnant women give up their right to privacy on all topics once they have begun to show. I've been through 4 pregnancies & I just started smiling and not answering by the 4th time around.

[tired]

I am due the day you are having your operation and i am just tired and anxious and cant wait to get this thing out of me.